At the Train Tracks

There is no other place that I can actually feel the metamorphosis that has occurred since I have become a mom.  I used to moan and throw my hands up with impatience when the crossings would deploy seconds before I made it through.  Now, I consider the "Gods in our Favor" if they come down before we cross, giving us the best seats in the house to watch the train go past.  "Here comes the train," I yell back to the boys, as I roll down every window no matter the season, so that we can hear the dinging and listen for the train whistle.  Having this last minute position also provides the back view of the train.  As the crossings lift and we ride over the tracks the boys look after the train and see it rolling away.  When I manage to be out in the car alone, I find myself excited to get stuck by the train and even begin to roll down the windows for that brief second before I remember that I am alone.  It is in that moment of reality that I can almost touch the wave of emotions that will roll over me when the boys are grown and I will forever sit at the train tracks alone.  It is this moment that it occurs to me I may never be able to let them go!